One of the major bummers about my quarter-life-crisis was how apathetic I had become. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt truly excited or enthusiastic about anything and that led to a real lack of motivation to do anything.
I felt like all my energy was drained from me and it was really hard work just to get through the day. I had no spare energy left to push my boundaries or connect with people, all I wanted to do was sleep and rest but when I did I was bored and felt guilty that I was wasting my life.
As I have come to realise, my quarter-life-crisis was largely brought about by my lack of confidence and subconscious fear of stepping out of my comfort zone. Nothing grows in our comfort zones and we end up staying still which leads to a feeling of being stuck which brings up a lot of frustration and anxiety.
Since then I have gained a much better self-awareness and understanding of how our brains work and how in their effort to keep us safe they actually just end up sabotaging our happiness. Having said that, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still come up against resistance when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone. The difference is that now when the self sabotage comes up I can recognise it, deal with it and move past it instead of allowing it to call the shots and keep me stuck.
One of the ways in which I have recently stepped out of my comfort zone was by joining Toastmasters, a meet-up group where I take on public speaking. This can be pretty scary, I never really thought it would be too hard to stand up in-front of people and talk, as long as I knew my message, but when I do it’s like this nervousness takes over. I don’t know what it is, it’s just such an unusual situation for me to be in that my body freaks out and I no longer know what to do with my hands or face!
As part of my work as a coach I can see how improving my public speaking skills will open me up to opportunities I would like to pursue in the future. I can see that by taking this step out of my comfort zone I am allowing myself to grow in a way that will lead me to the version of success I have for my life. I am doing this on behalf of my future success and happiness. So future Amy, you’re welcome!
Pushing our own boundaries is crucial to our personal development. It doesn’t mean that you have to skip straight to the really big, scary stuff, although you totally can if you want to. You can start off small, like me in this scenario. I’ve joined a group where I can practice public speaking. This is me pushing my boundaries. I would also be pushing my boundaries if I signed up to speak to a room full of strangers at a proper event, but that would be pushing my boundaries in a much bigger way. That will come but for now this is where I’m at and this consistent, persistent action that I am taking on behalf of my success is what is going to get me there.
What could you be doing today to push your boundaries on behalf of your version of success? What could the future version of you be thankful to the present version of you for doing?