It has been a long time since I wrote any form of blog type thing, and the reason for that is that I kinda got caught up in the ebb and flow of life. It’s been an interesting few years since the end of my quarter-life-crisis. I managed to find what I wanted to pursue and started to pursue it with huge amounts of passion and energy, but there have been sooooo many challenges/lessons along the way, which is a good thing in hindsight, but bloody stressful at the time. I still had so much to learn about myself and how I approach my goals, and I’m sure I still have loads more lessons coming my way too.
I remember being in a horrible state of confusion, anxiety and generally just feeling lost and directionless. I hated feeling that way so much! I put all my energy in to figuring it out and finding my thing, and I did, I found out about Positive Psychology and it hit me like lightning. I was so sure that this was it, it made so much sense to me and I knew instantly it was the right fit. So I started looking into how I could make that happen, I researched and contacted universities, but it turned out that Positive Psychology was a post-grad course and I am not post-grad. The next steps started looking extremely long and expensive, and would require me investing a lot of time and energy in studying something I wasn’t that interested in before I would be in a position to learn about the thing I really was interested in.
So I did some searching about what you can do with Positive Psychology and that’s when I learned about Coaching. So I started learning about Coaching and studied that instead.
I learned some great stuff and met some lovely people who continue to be my friends today, but this was all just the start of a whole bunch of challenges and life lessons that were to come. The world of Coaching can be a bit of an odd one, there are so many variations, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can get overwhelming especially if you’re just discovering it.
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in Coaching. I know from my own experiences how beneficial it can be and I totally recommend it as a form of personal development. However, there are some strategies people use in the online world when marketing their services to entrepreneurs that for me didn’t work and actually just made me feel stressed out. They sell a lifestyle and a formulaic way of doing things that didn’t work for me and I ended up feeling stress, pressure and like I wasn’t good enough because of it.
Now, a few years into all of it I can recognise my own patterns in how I respond to things like this and I can work on them and not spiral into anxiety over them. So I’m glad I experienced it so that I could learn those lessons. At the time though, when you’re new to something and just learning how it works, that stuff can be really overwhelming and stressful.
About a year ago I had a bit of a turning point with all of that and started to refocus, and that’s what I really want to write about today.
I think it takes about two years or so at the beginning of something new to feel competent and confident in your own judgement and ability. It’s a good amount of time to really absorb and learn about the new pursuit, but also about how you fit with it. Last year for me was the two year mark and the turning point was when I said f**k it and just started to trust myself more.
As a result I haven’t done too much within my Coaching work, not because I don’t see a future there, but more because it was time to recalibrate. I wanted to do some more training, so I searched for Positive Psychology courses and managed to find one for the first time that didn’t require me to be post-grad! YAY!! So I signed up and have been working on my Diploma since about April last year and I absolutely love it!
I’ve challenged myself and have done some public speaking, which it turns out I’m pretty good at and also really like to do. I’ve started getting back into things outside of work and study that I’m interested in or that bring me joy. For example, I’m learning to play drums, I’m getting back into Skateboarding (when the weather warms up a bit), I’m learning how to be more environmentally friendly and sustainable by researching zero waste living, and I’m looking for ways to help be part of causes I believe in.
I’ve also massively taken the pressure off myself, hence the somewhat radio silence on the Fierce Flamingo front for a while.
I actually feel really good though, whereas eighteen months ago I would’ve been freaking out and beating myself up for not having written a blog that week, or sending out a newsletter, or doing a live stream or whatever.
My take away for you would be this, making your life about just one thing can lead to an enormous amount of pressure. Be open to adapting and changing things, it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Try and make time to pursue things in your life that mean something to you, or bring you joy. Doing this gives you a great perspective about what is important. Lastly, remember that someone else’s way of doing things may be the best way for them but it’s not necessarily the best way for you. Trust yourself.